Ground Squirrels Once Again Making "Good Progress" on Rodent Super City After Recent Rain

Now that the rains are gone, local ground squirrels are once again making "good progress" on finishing their rodent super city beneath Moranda Park, according to a local spokesrat.

"The rain slowed us down for a few weeks," said the spokesrat. "It really kinda sucked. We had to spend our time getting the mud out of old tunnels instead of digging new ones. But now that the sun is out again, we're digging faster than ever."

Signs of progress are everywhere, with dozens of distinctive ground squirrel mounds and tunnel tracks visible on the grassy surface of Moranda Park, and new ones erupting daily. The mounds and tunnels are part of a massive underground excavation project said to run several thousand feet deep and dozens of miles in all directions.

"We don't like to give exact figures on that type of thing," said the spokesrat. "Let's just say most humans would s*** a brick if they knew how big it was. We can get to any park in the city without coming above ground once, and we're almost done completing a four tunnel freeway linking us directly to Ventura."

Asked if the ground squirrel population had deal with threats from local city workers, the spokesrat replied, "Sure, what else is new? The city has this one guy who's always trying something new. Rocks, water, poison... he should ashamed of himself. Guess he watched Caddyshack too many times. But we got plans for him. Trust me."